| LOSS Of all the challenging realties that a person will face, loss of an important person or of something of consequential value, that contributed to that person’s sense of wholeness, is one of the most difficult. A troubling void is left. Activities and other things that were once important often don’t seem the same. The person often experiences depression and will dwell on how things were, finding the present and future empty in comparision. For some the challenge becomes one of regaining that which has been lost, however improbable or impossible that might be. When someone attempts to undo something that cannot be undone, they are resisting the most important challenge caused by the loss: Achieving acceptance and going on. Each of the films described here touches on some important aspect of loss. While this issue may not be each movie’s main theme, these films have been included because they show how losses impact people and the ways, good and bad, individuals attempt to deal with a loss. The Films MRS. DOUBTFIRE Sometimes comedy is successful because the movie deals with issues so serious that it would be very difficult to watch otherwise. Using comedy Mrs. Doubtfire deals with the breakup of a marriage of two people who still love each other but cannot function as a husband and wife. The husband is terribly irresponsible and the wife cannot deal with his behavior any longer. As often happens when marriages breakup there are bitter feelings and conflicts that are mediated by the courts. In this case the husband can no longer see his children. He devises a deception to have contact with his children and in doing so must become a better person than he has ever been. He also learns the reason his wife could no longer live with him. 1993. Fox Video Rated Pg-13 by M.P.A.A..  © Touchstone Pictures. All Rights Reserved. PARADISE The death of a child has a brutal impact on the parents. Sadly the grief that follows can put a hard burden on even a reasonably good marriage. The parents need help and support but often they don’t seek it and the grief and guilt ends up consuming the relationship between the husband and wife like a disease. We see this troubling situation with Ben and Lily. We also witness the experiences of a young boy who moves in with them for the summer. He also is burdened by a distressing reality. His parents don’t want him. As is so often the case with the "walking wounded" there is difficulty connecting with others and tensions are sparked because of this. For real healing to begin, each must break down the wall that keeps others out (and the pain inside). This finally happens in a very honest way. 1991. Buena Vista Home Video. Rated PG13 by M.P.A.A.  © Miramax. All Rights Reserved BLUE Sometimes when people suddenly lose the closest people in their lives, they isolate and attempt to cut themselves off from everything that reminds them of the past. In truth, it is impossible to do this and in one way or another they will be reminded by the littlest things of the past. In Blue, Julie has lost her husband and daughter in a auto accident. Her first reaction is to end her own life, then attempt to feel alive by seducing an old friend. She then attempts to break with all connections to her past. She discovers secrets about her husband which she is able to accept. What she cannot accept is that life must go on. It is only after she gone to some lengths in her attempt to cut herself off from everything, that she realizes that not only is it impossible but she still has reason to go on. French with English subtitles. Buena Vista Home Video. Rated R by M.P.A.A. See Also Il Postino
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