ABUSE
Because abuse is not a pleasant
topic, people tend to avoid the subject. This tendency
makes life hard for those who have been victimized and
perpetuates an inclination to ignore and even blame
victims for their abuse. Individuals who have been abused
often live with shame because of what was done to them.
It is not surprising that people who have been abused
often feel different from others and doubt that anyone
can understand them. Feelings of powerless are common.
Each of the following films, in one way or another, deals
with some form of abuse and the legacy of that
mistreatment. Most of these films show how people attempt
to come to terms with its impact and how they often
succeed in getting beyond the abuse.
Abuse has many faces. It can be blatant physical, sexual,
or verbal abuse or it can be so subtle that only the
victim (and sometimes the abuser) are aware of its
existence. Abuse is always hurtful and is sometimes
crippling.
When watching these films, it can be observed that the
person who has been abused frequently makes choices that
are not healthy and, at times, are incredibly
self-defeating. We see this all the time with people who
have fallen into a chronic victim pattern and their
actions often blow us away. We can easily forget that it
is not easy for people who have gone through these
abusive experiences to see what they are doing. It is
sometimes very hard for others to appreciate how hard it
is for them to resist reactions that can make a bad
situation worse. Abuse, especially childhood abuse,
causes a distorted view of how those victimized see
themselves and the world.
The
Films
FORREST GUMP This is a
film that is really about two people whose lives are
intertwined: Forrest and Jenny. After watching this film,
most people remember Forrest who, by chance, finds
himself involved in many of the critical events of recent
American history. But Jenny is also a hero, although her
travels are quite different. At a young age, she
befriends Forrest, probably because she knows what it is
to be different and not to fit in. Forrest does not know
that she is being molested. After all, he is kid and
mentally slow. (As we now know, such abuse has often been
missed: The truth is so disturbing that people don’t
allow themselves to see it.) Jenny grows up to become a
troubled woman who puts herself in situations where she
is used or hurt and runs away from those that are not
hurtful to her. Through personal crisis, she does reach a
point where she has recovered enough that she can finally
let Forrest in her life. You have probably seen this
film, but watch it again. In seeing Forrest Gump, focus
on Jenny. Like so many women who have been abused she
makes bad choices but she also finally breaks the
pattern. She does this herself. No one rescues her
although Forrest’s patience and love are a rock she
does hold on to. For anyone who has lived a life like
Jenny such unselfish and nonpossessive love, is important
for healing.
Paramount Pictures
Rate PG-13 by M.P.A.A.
© Hollywood Pictures.
All Rights Reserved.
NIXON Even prominent men and women can
be burdened by an abusive past. Whether or not this film
presents the real Nixon is irrelevant: This is the story
of a man who never overcame the rigid disapproval and
psychological abuse he experienced in his childhood.
People who grow up like this person are often handicapped
by an inability to feel secure in themselves and will
over-react to situations that, while upsetting, are not
the end of the world but to them are very threatening. No
matter how much they achieve they live with emotionally
crippling insecurities and fear that they hide even from
themselves. In viewing this film try to understand how
this man came to be so insecure and fearful. Maybe this
is something to which you can relate.
Buena Vista Home
Video
Rated R by MPAA.
SHINE Some parents’ personal traumas can
be so great that they cannot show love without corrupting
its expression with bitterness and unreasonable demands
of loyalty and dependence. This is a story of such a
father and his gifted son who falls apart after achieving
an impressive success that his father refuses to honor.
As painful as this is to see, the son’s recovery and
healing are also uplifting and revealing of the power of
ungrasping love. Shine also reveals that for one who has
been psychologically abused for years, recovery takes
time but that real healing can occur and joy of life
found. 1996.
New Line Home Video.
Rated PG-13 by M.P.A.A.
© Touchstone Pictures.
All Rights Reserved.
WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT "You thought you were going to get
away from me," Anna’s abusive ex-husband says
to her. He tells her that she cannot because she’s
still in his head. This chilling encounter speaks of both
the perceived power and the struggle that abused women
experience with men who refuse to let go. Anna had been
abused and dominated by her husband for years. Despite
being a popular singer she lived in constant fear and was
often publicly humiliated. When, as a middle aged women,
she finally got a divorce, all she asked from the courts
was the right to retain her stage name, Tina Turner. She
said that her husband, Ike, could keep their community
property. In retaining only her stage name, Anna
maintained what was most important to her: Her identity.
The material things she gave up she could and did
rebuild. This is an exceptional film of personal triumph
and of the break away from an abusive cycle.
Buena Vista Home Video
Rated R for sexual violence and
language by MPAA.
FRANKIE AND JOHNNY A
common tendency for people who have been severely hurt is
to isolate and put up a wall. As lonely as their lives
become, their isolated existence is safe. It is riskier
to break out from behind that protective wall. If you
live behind such a wall, you can understand why
someone’s interest in you would be overwhelming and
how threatening that person’s attempts to get close
to you would be. Ironically, it is often a pursuer who
violates the other’s boundaries who gets past the
wall. In this movie the pursuer, Johnny, seems like a
nice enough guy and maybe he is. More often those who do
what Johnny does to get close to Frankie are not that
harmless. By the end of the film, do you really know
enough to say that Johnny is good for Frankie or that he
will not hurt her as she has been hurt before? Romance
can be so confusing, especially for those who have been
abused. The challenge for someone who bears past hurts is
not to turn away so quickly from those who make
appropriate advances and are easy to brush off. It is
also important to listen carefully to that person’s
behavior (not his words) and to ask for impressions of
the person from trusted friends before allowing a
bond to develop.
Paramont Pictures.
Rated R by M.P.A.A.
See Also:
Good Will Hunting
Night Of The Hunter
Sling Blade
Smoke Signals
Please
note: More movies are being added to this page.
Check back soon.
| The
booklet Understanding
Victimization can be an aid for those who
struggle with issues of abuse. You might also
find the booklet helpful to read before seeing
these films. For only $2.50 plus shipping and
handling you can have this booklet mailed to you
within two days! Check out this booklet NOW! The booklet Boundaries And Limits can also be an aid. You might
also find the booklet helpful to read before
seeing these films. For only $2.50 plus shipping
and handling you can have this booklet mailed to
you within two days! Check out this booklet NOW! |
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